January 2012
43 posts
Ax, referring to Jake, in #46 The Deception.
Jake and Ax’s relationship.

I’m not kidding. I’d forgotten that quote and I just choked on tears.
“Wasn’t it Journey to the Bottom of the Sea?” Marco asked.
“No, it was Voyage,” Jake confirmed.
“Journey sounds better,” Marco said.
Jake sighed. “Hey, time marches on, right? We’re in a hurry. What are you thinking, Cassie?”
“Calamari,” she said with a grin.
“Snails?” I said, frowning.
<I am not in favor of snails,> Ax said.
“Wait, that’s not—” Cassie said loudly.
<I had the misfortune to inadvertently eat one while feeding,> Ax continued. <I did not see it in time. I stepped on it and digested it.>
“You ate a snail through your hoof?” I asked. That picture temporarily replaced the image of me being squashed to the size of a Barbie doll on the ocean floor.
<Yes, and the meat portion was fine. However, once the snail’s body had been digested, the shell was very difficult to—>
“Ooookay, I think that’s probably enough about snails,” Jake said.
“Yeah, especially since calamari does not mean snail,” Cassie pointed out. “Escargot means snail. I was talking about—”
<I have an idea: Let’s all just stick to speaking English,> Tobias grumped.
“Squid!” Cassie yelled suddenly. The birds in the trees around us fell silent. So did we.
Until Tobias said, <Uh-uh. Calamari is octopus, not squid.>
“Oh. Who. CARES?” Cassie cried. “Squid. We can morph a giant squid! Giant squid dive really deep. And they have arms, so we could maybe get into the Pemalite ship.”
I met Marco’s gaze. “Why didn’t she just say that to begin with?”
“Could have saved a lot of time,” Marco agreed, playing along.
<What does any of this have to do with your Captain Nemo?> Ax wondered.
Cassie threw up her hands. “It’s a book. Journey to—”
“Ah HAH! It was Journey!”
“I mean Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea,” Cassie grated. “Captain Nemo was attacked by a giant squid.”
“Who won?” Marco asked.
“Wait a minute,” I said. “It wasn’t Journey or Voyage. It was 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Jules Verne.”
Cassie looked like she might strangle me. Then she said, “Oh yeah. Voyage was a TV show. They run it on the Sci-Fi channel.”
“I thought it was on Nick at Night,” Marco said.
At which point everyone started giggling.
“Someone call the Chee and tell them they’re doomed,” I said. “Their only hope is a collection of idiot kids, standing around in the woods debating cable channels.”
I wish Jake had let Ax tell us about his experience pooping snail shell because I am eight.
Female andalites will never be purple to me.
Not even a different shade of blue compared to the males. I hate how they’re some kind of purple in not only the covers but also in fanart. I remember, after the Hork-Bajir Chronicles came out, keeping my eyes open when reading the series to see if it was ever suggested that females are purpler than males, but I don’t remember ever seeing anything in-text that suggested that.
But then, Elfangor and Visser Three with I-actually-use-my-gym-membership arms and the way-too-teensy eyes Ax always had… The covers weren’t always accurate to andalite in-text descriptions.
But yeah.
Ugh.
Purple andalites?
No. I just can’t.
“I assume we’ll be taking this buggy for a joyride.” Tobias had morphed into his human self. “If we can figure out how to start it.”
“What do you mean, if we can figure out how to start it? You happen to be sitting next to the Tank Commando master of the Hork-Bajir valley.”
“Right. Video-game expertise.” He glanced around at all the switches and levers. “So, what, we just rev it up and barrel off the side of the train?”
“Yeah. The train’s stopped. The ground’s almost level with the flatcar. Should be easy. I saw a tank crew do it on the History Channel.”
“Ah. Video games and cable. How reassuring.” He pulled a helmet from a hook on the side of the turret. “I should probably wear this.”
Tobias momentarily leaves behind his usual snarky comments and is just plain adorable in #51.